Wanted_Everything I Needed Read online

  “You know I bought your grandma’s farm, right?”

  “What?” She glares.

  “I bought the farm,” I slowly tell her again.

  “When? Why?” she shrieks, her eyes bulging with panic.

  “Um, a couple of years ago now, I guess. Because it was for sale, and it’s right next to my dad’s land. So, it just made sense to expand our ranch.”

  “Why would Mimi sell her land? Where is she living? So, you just kicked her out on the streets? Why would you do this to her? She’s been nothing but kind to you your whole life!” Leni’s eyes are brimming with tears.

  I raise my hands in an attempt to calm her. “Shh. No, it’s not like that. I didn’t kick her out, Len. She’s free to stay in her house for as long as she wants. I’m just farming the land, is all.”

  I don’t know if Leni heard a word I said. She just looks to me with so much loathing.

  “I can’t believe you did this, William Moore. This is a whole new level, even for you.” She shakes her head as a tear rolls down her cheek.

  I reach out my arm to grab hers, but she bolts off toward the house before I can.

  I’m left here, watching her run away from me again. And, just like when I was seventeen, I have no idea why she harbors such disgust—and, worse yet, why it bothers me so much.

  Chapter Three

  Leni

  I SPRINT TOWARD THE OLD farmhouse, leaving my belongings by the truck.

  I can’t believe Mimi sold everything!

  I’m across the front porch in two strides and swinging the front door open.

  “Mimi!” I shriek when I enter the house.

  My grandma comes hastily out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron, a look of concern spread across her face.

  My tears flow harder because she’s aged so much in the five years since I last saw her. She has more wrinkles than she’s ever had and looks tired.

  Why haven’t I come to see her in five years?

  The guilt weighs down on me as my panic rises.

  She wraps her arms around me, and I melt into her embrace as sobs rack my body. She leads us over to the sofa, and I continue to cry as she holds me.

  My emotions are playing a game of ping-pong on my heart, and they’re still not enough for me to even pinpoint why I’m so upset, but I am. I’m devastated.

  And it’s not just one thing either; it’s so many, and maybe that’s why I can’t focus on a single cause.

  A loving hand continues to rub my back, but the tears won’t abate. I’m so broken. I’ve lost everything I’ve ever wanted. The dream I’d had for my life died the moment I stepped on that bus. There’s so much guilt. How could I not know that my grandmother sold her life’s work, her legacy? Why haven’t I been back to see her? There was always an excuse as to why—work, money, homework, bills, commitments. The list was vast, five years of excuses.

  I’m no better than my parents. Liam is right. I’m a horrible person.

  Speaking of Liam, seeing him again caused so much emotion to well up inside me—most of which, I can’t name. His presence made me uneasy, and I can’t figure it out.

  Eventually, my tears run dry, and I pull my wet face away from Mimi’s chest. She smiles at me and wipes my face with her apron.

  “I’m so sorry,” I choke out.

  “Shh . . . don’t you worry yourself, baby girl.”

  Her smile has always made me feel so loved.

  “Why did you sell the farm? Why would you do that? Why didn’t Dad help you if you needed money? I don’t understand what’s going on.” I attempt to keep the screech out of my voice.

  “Oh, my Leni girl.” She swipes a lock of my hair behind my ear. “You’re tired. You’ve had a long couple of days. All this can wait. First, you need to eat.” She pats her lap and stands.

  “But, Mimi—”

  “It can wait, dear. I just pulled some bread out of the oven. Would you like a slice or two while I finish up dinner?” She walks into the kitchen.

  OMG . . . bread.

  “Do you have jam?” I sniffle.

  “How about some raspberry?” she asks while surveying the contents of the refrigerator.

  “Yes!” I all but scream, making my grandma laugh.

  She has the best laugh. Always has.

  After I’ve stuffed a few pieces of warm amazingness in my mouth, I feel like a different person.

  “Feel better?” Mimi asks.

  “So much better,” I say through a mouthful of bread. Looking down at the bread before me, I see that I’ve almost polished off the entire loaf by myself.

  “Life’s woes are always worse when we’re hungry.”

  “I was so hungry,” I admit.

  She sets a glass of milk down on the table and takes my chin in her hand, looking me in the eyes. “I’m glad you’re back. I know it’s not what you wanted, but I can’t tell you how happy I am to see you.”

  “I’m happy to see you, too. I’m so sorry I didn’t come back to visit.” My bottom lip begins to tremble.

  “No more of that.” She pats my knee before heading back over toward the stove. “You were living your life, dear. There’s nothing to apologize for. I’ve lived a great life, and I want that for you.” She pulls a chicken leg out of the bubbling oil and places it on a paper towel. “Plus, you called me every week.”

  “I know, but that’s not the same as seeing you. I’m sorry.”

  She finishes pulling the rest of the fried chicken out of the pan and brings the dishes of food to the table. She’s made all my favorites—fried chicken, homemade mac and cheese, rice, and gravy.

  “Mimi, you didn’t have to do all this.” I shake my head at the impressive spread before me.

  “I wanted to. It’s not every day that my Leni girl comes back to me. You deserve a suitable homecoming meal.”

  “This is way more food than the two of us can possibly eat.” I chuckle.

  “You know me. I can never make proper portions.” Mimi lets out a laugh.

  “So, please tell me about the farm. Why is that jerk out in your barn?” My insides twist up, just thinking about Liam, and I feel my anger rising again.

  “You mean, Liam? Oh, honey, he’s no jerk. He might be the sweetest man in Mason, to be honest. I know you can’t remember your grandpa very well.” She looks past me with a serene smile on her face, no doubt thinking about my pops who passed away when I was six.

  She continues, “But your grandpa was smart. He was a great rancher and businessman. When he passed, he left me with a sizeable savings to keep the ranch running. Unfortunately, he never really taught me how to do it all. Perhaps I should have asked for help. But you know me. I’m a hardheaded ole broad. There’s nothing I can’t do.”

  She grins toward me, and I know she’s thinking that I’m just like her. She’s told me many times that I remind her of herself, and that thought makes me proud.

  “So, I did it my way. I hired help and bought and sold livestock and crops as best I could. Yet, every year, I’d end in the red, and I’d have to dip into my savings to balance the books. Well, after fifteen years of this, that money ran out. Truthfully, Leni, I was going to lose the farm. I had nothing left. I started inquiring around on the best way to sell it off, and Liam made me an offer.” She points her finger in my direction. “And I’ll tell you, it was more generous than it should have been. I told him as much, but he wouldn’t hear it. He bought my land for more than anyone else would have. Then, to top it off, he insisted I stay in my house. He won’t even accept rent. That boy saved me, Leni. He saved me.” Her voice trails off.

  “Why didn’t you ask Dad for help? You know he has the money.”

  “Oh, my son has left me and this life behind. It’s unfortunate, but it’s the way it is. He’s never wanted anything to do with this farm. I’ll always love your father, Leni; he’s my only son, but he didn’t grow into a good man. Call it pride or stubbornness, but I couldn’t reach out to him. I just couldn’t do it.” S
he shakes her head.

  “I know what you mean,” I say with a sigh. “I’d never ask my father for help either. He was right about me though. I’ve failed, Mimi. I went to an amazing school and lived in one of the greatest cities for art in the world, and I couldn’t make it.”

  “Oh, heavens. You are not a failure, not in the least. You had a dream, and you went for it. That, my girl, already makes you a success. Making it is subjective. What does that even look like? There are countless ways in which you can gauge your success. You know what I say? I say, if you get to wake up every day and do what you love, then you’re living your best life. That’s all any of us can do. There’s no reason you can’t work on your pretty pieces here, now is there?”

  There’s a knock on the front door. My head snaps toward it.

  “I’ll get it.” My grandma gently taps my hand before leaving the table.

  As soon as she opens the door, I hear Liam say, “Ma’am, Leni left her belongings out by my truck. I wanted to make sure they made it inside before I left for the night.”

  “That is very sweet of you, Liam. Thank you. Just set them in here.”

  Liam brings my purse and suitcase in the house. I try not to look at him, but honestly, I’m unable to stop myself. He’s evidently been doing something strenuous because his shirt is damp with sweat. And his hair is all wet and disheveled and extremely sexy.

  Wait, what? Where did that thought come from? He’s the enemy, Leni.

  I suppose, regardless of who he is, I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge—if just to myself—that he was quite beautiful in a manly, hot-as-hell kind of way.

  Thinking back, I suppose he has always been good-looking. He used to have that boy-next-door thing going for him with his broad smile, perfect teeth, kind brown eyes, and that type of hair where you don’t know if it should be described as blond or brown. In the bright Texas sun, it is blond, but right now, it’s darker. And did I mention . . . it’s wet?

  What the hell was he doing out there?

  He’s so different than anyone I found attractive in New York. Most of the guys I dated wore skinny jeans and form-fitting shirts, and their biceps were probably smaller than Liam’s forearm. They would have looked ridiculous in a pair of Wranglers and cowboy boots, just as Liam would never be able to pull off skinny jeans. Like, ever.

  I’m startled from my secret Liam thoughts when I hear my grandma ask Liam to join us for dinner.

  “Oh, no, thank you, ma’am. I appreciate the offer, but I should get home and get cleaned up. I’m not fit as company right now.”

  “Nonsense!” Mimi chirps happily. “I’ve made enough food to feed an army; you’d be doing me a favor. Please stay.”

  “All right. Thank you, ma’am. I’ll just go get washed up really quick.” Liam goes into the bathroom.

  As soon as the door closes behind him, I whisper-yell, “Why did you invite him? It’s going to be so awkward, Mimi!”

  “Oh, stop.” She nonchalantly waves me off. “You two used to be great friends. It will do you some good to catch up for a bit.”

  “We’re not friends now. It won’t be great at all . . . just uncomfortable.”

  “Why aren’t you friends again? I never understood what happened. One minute, you two were inseparable, and the next, you hated him.”

  “I have no idea,” I grumble. “Truthfully, I don’t know. I just know that I don’t like him. I don’t need him as a friend, Mimi. This is really annoying.”

  “Oh, Leni girl . . . I swear, you’re your own worst enemy sometimes.”

  “What does that mean?” I ask as Liam exits the bathroom. I shoot my grandma a look, letting her know that she doesn’t need to answer right now.

  Liam sits down at the table and starts dishing up.

  “So, how was it that you and Leni crossed paths today? We haven’t gotten to that story yet,” Mimi asks Liam.

  Liam starts to tell Mimi about me walking into the road and him almost plowing me over.

  Mimi gasps. “You were supposed to call me when you got in.”

  “My phone died, and I forgot my charger,” I say by way of explanation.

  “Thank you for bringing her back,” Mimi says to Liam.

  All I can do is roll my eyes.

  My knight in shining armor.

  Thankfully, Liam and Mimi start talking about ranch stuff, and I’m off the hook as the topic of conversation.

  I eat until I can’t eat another bite. How did I survive on salads and sushi? For the first time in five years, I think I can officially say that I’m full.

  “Well, I think I’m going to go draw a bath. Can you two kids handle the cleanup?”

  What? She never takes her bath before the kitchen is spotless.

  I narrow my eyes toward her.

  “Absolutely. Thank you so much for a lovely dinner,” Liam says.

  I start grabbing dishes and take them to the sink. After Mimi is upstairs, I say, “Why are you such a kiss-ass?”

  Liam laughs. “Why are you such an ass?”

  I shrug. “Must be the New Yorker in me.”

  “Oookaay,” Liam draws out.

  “What does that mean?” I ask snidely.

  “Nothing,” he sighs.

  “You know, I don’t like you.”

  He laughs. “I don’t like you either, Len. You’re kind of a jerk.”

  “Ugh,” I groan. “You make me so mad.”

  Liam closes the distance between us. His face is hard with anger. I step back until I feel the kitchen sink and pull in a breath. Liam bends down until his face is an inch from mine. He holds on to the counter on either side of my waist, caging me in with his arms. I can smell him, and though I thought it’d be repulsive, it’s the complete opposite. Sweat and all, his scent makes my heart beat faster. I close my eyes and imagine what it’d be like to lick up his neck and across his muscles.

  “Look at me.” His voice sounds strained.

  I open my eyes.

  “I have always been kind to you,” Liam whispers. His lips are so close to mine that I can feel his breath. “I don’t know why you treat me the way you do, but I don’t deserve it. You need to grow the hell up, Leni. You present yourself as a rude, entitled, obnoxious bitch.”

  I gasp and press my hands against his chest under the pretense of wanting him to step back from me. Yet, truthfully, I need his lips away from my own because the temptation is too great. Despite what I need, he doesn’t budge. If anything, he leans in even closer, and now, I have the added sensation of his hard chest beneath my palms.

  He continues, “And, though you’re a really good actress, I know you’re not any of those things. I know you.” He says the last sentence with added emphasis. “This isn’t you. When you’re tired of the games and you decide you want a friend, let me know. I can be a really good friend. But I can’t be your punching bag.”

  He pushes off the counter and away from me. I listen as he walks out, closing the front door behind him. I can’t move, frozen in the place he left me.

  Holy hell. What just happened?

  My body almost shakes with the amount of pent-up desire that courses through it—and for whom? Liam? But I hate him. Right? I have for a long time.

  I’m so confused.

  I just need to finish the dishes, take a nice hot shower, and get in bed.

  I’m tired, so exhausted. I’m bound to feel better tomorrow. I simply need sleep to clear my mind. Tomorrow will be better. I can start on a plan to get out of here and begin living the life of my dreams. This is just a pit stop, and Liam Moore is just an annoying roadblock. I don’t need him as a friend or otherwise.

  I don’t need anyone.

  Chapter Four

  Leni

  A COUPLE OF WEEKS PASS without another Liam encounter. I sometimes hear him working in the barn and see him driving his truck out toward the pasture, but I don’t dare to let him see me. I’ve pretty much become a twenty-three-year-old recluse. I’ve ventured out to the city once
to buy a cell phone charger. Mimi shoved a twenty-dollar bill in my hand and insisted I go get one, so I could catch up with all my friends. I know she’s worried about me.

  So, after a week of zero contact with my New York friends, I power up my phone, expecting to see hundreds of notifications and text messages. There are none. Literally not one call, text, or tag. Okay, so I didn’t expect any voice mails because who calls anymore? But I definitely thought I’d have plenty of text messages and tags to go through. There wasn’t one photo compilation post of me and my friends on Facebook where they tagged me in a heartfelt message of how much they missed me.

  Come on, Jennifer. We were roommates for five years, and you can post pictures of your pumpkin spice latte but not me?

  I’ve never felt lower or more lost in my life. My phone shut off a few days later since I hadn’t paid my bill, and I have no desire to turn it back on. What’s the point? I’m twenty-three and have nothing to show for my life. I have an expensive college degree that I can’t use and no true relationships. My entire existence is a facade.

  My days are spent watching daytime soap operas, which, truthfully, I had no idea still existed. Mimi doesn’t have cable, so there is no HGTV or A&E. There are three numbered channels—four if the aluminum foil antenna is pointing directly toward the eastern corner of the living room. I’ve also been helping Mimi can everything from peaches to pickles. We have more jars of tomatoes than I could eat in a lifetime.

  “All right, Mimi. Last box.” I pick up a cardboard box full of glass jars of mushy red tomatoes.

  “Just put it in the basement with the rest, Leni love. Thank you. I’m going to run into town for a few things. Would you like to come with me?”

  “No, go ahead, Mimi. I have stuff to do here.”

  She presses her lips together and squints her eyes but decides against arguing about it. “All righty then. Any requests for dinner?”

  “You know, whatever you make, I’ll love,” I answer.

  “Okay, I’ll be back in a bit.” She lays her apron on the counter, grabs her purse, and heads out.

  I cautiously step down the old wooden stairs to the basement. I’ve always found this part of the house so creepy. I don’t think the basement has been remodeled since the house was built a hundred or so years ago. The floor is a cold concrete, and the walls are made of stone. It’s dark and musty—the complete opposite of the rest of the farmhouse.